I've got good news and I've got bad news.

The bad news: my brain is splattered across a windshield somewhere and isn't very anxious to get back into my head. Or, to put it less dramatically, my thought box is broke, y'all. KV no en casa, if you catch my drift. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you had x-ray vision you would be able to see that the spot where my brain used to be is now occupied by a single, perfectly ripe banana.

A banana brain, if you will.

The good news: Garland and M are having a baby boy! Seh-weet. My soon-to-be-a-real-live-person nephew isn't due until September, but hot damn, I already want to buy the kid everything at Baby Gap, Babies R' Us, Baby Target, baby church rummage sale, baby swap meet, baby black market and pretty much any other location that sells goods that I can add the noun "baby" to. I'm determined to be someones Aunt Tina. Also, how could anyone possibly say no to these:



Is it weird that I just want to put them in my mouth?

A huge congrats and e-high five to Garland and M. But not to you, Brain. You know what you did.