If Being Old Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right. Now Get Off My Lawn.

Yesterday I met up with my friend Thurber who I've known since high school. Remember high school? More specifically, remember the end of senior year in high school? Everyone was crying and swearing up and down that everyone would always be friends with everyone else? You wrote things like "Luv u man!" and "Have a rad summer*" or "Do you like me, check yes or no" in each others year books. And no matter what, everything you wrote in your friends' yearbook ended with three to five exclamation points.

Well, Thurber was one of those friends who I promised to know forever. I believe we even exchanged letters before graduation explaining how awesome we though each other was and how we'll always be friends. Fortunately for us, that proved true. I don't see Thurber much anymore because she lives in Flagstaff and I live in Tucson, but when I do see her we pick up right where we left off. She is, hands down, the most fascinating person I know. I can never get enough of her stories.

Yesterday, for example, when we were talking about her adventures abroad, she said, "When I was in Luxembourg, three people assumed I was a prostitute." Classic Thurber.

Aside from being one cool chick, Thurber knows how to give a good present. One year for Christmas, she gave me a broomstick with the word "Thunderbolt 3000" painted on it and a stick she labeled as a wand. That was when I was going through my Harry Potter phase and I appreciated someone who could empathize with my geekiness.

This year, Thurber rocked the house again and got me something I didn't realize I needed, but now I don't see how I could possibly live without. Ladies and gentleman, I present Gerta LaReaux:



Gerta is a vintage, working condition typewriter. She's beautiful and I am in love with her. It was pointed out to me that Gerta only adds fuel to the old lady fire. So let me take this opportunity to set the record straight. Yes, I knit. Yeah, I make myself a cup of tea before I go to bed. Okay, sometimes I go to sleep at 9:30 because I'm sleepy. And hell yeah, I blew off going to the DMV yesterday so I could come home and get down to business with Gerta. If all that makes me an old lady, then so be it. I'll start subscribing to the AARP magazine and eating dinner at 4 p.m. if that means Gerta and I can live a life of joy and never ending ink ribbons.

Thanks to Thurber for giving an amazing gift to a sweet, old lady like me. Much obliged.


*Someone actually wrote this in my yearbook. And once in middle school, someone wrote "Always use CONDOM sense, ha ha ha". Middle schoolers have such sophisticated humor.