Who was I kidding? We all know that being the only one working on Christmas Eve equals blogging.
After receiving a basket of ass from the Universe yesterday (no really, you didn't have to Universe. This doesn't come with a gift receipt? *sigh* Of course it doesn't), I have to go to Wal-Mart to get my tire fixed. What happened to my tire, you ask? Fuck if I know, I'm not a scientist. Alls I know is I was walking to my car yesterday feeling pre-eetty sorry for myself when I noticed my tire was flat. FLAT. Whys it gotta be like that, Universe?
But don't worry, my five faithful readers, my writing here today is evidence that I did indeed live through the Seriously, A Flat Fucking Tire Are You Kidding Me?! Fiasco Of 2008. It'll be one for the history books, but at least I can tell my kids that I was there and I only sort of panicked before calling every person I knew to ask for help. This is exactly why I should listen when my dad is trying to teach me to change a tire instead of making jokes. Stupid comedy.
I digress. As a result of the aforementioned S,A.F.F.T.A.Y.K.M?!F.O.08, I have to go to Wal-Mart to get a patch put on my tire. That's right. Wal-Mart. On Christmas Eve. Wait, let me rephrase that. I mean I have to go to the bowels of Hell on what should a holy evening before a holy day. Wal-Mart is a terrible place under normal circumstances. But under Christmas related circumstances? I am honestly afraid for my life.
But y'know, thanks to the Great Cheering Up Efforts of The Evening Of December 23rd, I'm not in a bad mood about it. Yeah, it blows, but by the end of the day I'll be with my friends drinking and watching Christmas movies. And tomorrow by 10 a.m. I'll be in New Mexico with my family, drinking some more and playing in the snow.
All in all, I guess it could be worse. Wish me and Luna* luck today as we try to make it to Wal-Mart by 5 without being murdered and/or murdering others. Amen.
*My Corolla was originally named Sky Masterson (from Guys and Dolls) because it was smooth on the road, much like Sky was smooth with the ladies, and one good looking hunk of metal, again, much like Sky except for the whole being metal part. However, after much consideration, Sky Masterson has been re-christened Luna "White Stallion" Lovegood, or Luna for short. My first car was named Neville because, like Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter, it didn't really serve any purpose but I loved it anyway. Luna (the car) has a light complexion and I imagine would talk in a light, high pitched voice similar to the actress who plays Luna (the person) in the Harry Potter films.**
**I take my car naming seriously, thank you very much.***
***No, I'm not in therapy. Why do you ask?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ek, The Wal on Chirstmas Eve, you are a braver girl than I am. Good luck, I would like to have a cousin at the end of this and not one that was on the news for killing a WT piece of ass that had to buy all 12 of her kids (all with a different daddy naturally), the latest immatation Barbie. Merry Christmas, have a safe trip.
ReplyDelete